The Vintage Tales of Viking Vinyards

Twentieth Year Celebration II: Western Exposures

by Finn Normansson

I've told you about the weather at the Twenty Year Celebration in the previous Vintage tale. Now I'm going to tell you about some of the interesting people, many from Westrealm, who were there. Unfortunately you can't get very far into these stories without the beastly weather rearing its ugly head.

As I indicated previously the rain and thundershowers seemed, for the most part, to confine themselves to the evening hours. This meant that the fighting events, which were held in the morning and afternoon, were largely unaffected. The rainless daylight hours, however, created their own problems.

Before a fighting venue would start the Chirurgeon in attendance would admonish the fighters to take care as the temperatures were expected to be in the lower 90s that day. At this, puissant knights from West Realm or Caid would silently scoff, "We fight in 90 degree temperatures all the time." What these western knights failed to take into account was the fact that while they fight in 90 or even 100 degree temperature, they fight in only 10% humidity. In southern Ansteorra, like southern Meridies, 90 degree temperatures are frequently accompanied by 90% humidity.

I was told that this scenario like this would play out almost daily. A western knight would take the field and challenge all comers to one on one combat. The knight would fight flat out for 15 minutes, clearing the field of all comers. Then an Ansteorran or Meridian fighter who had been biding his time would take the field, strike a light blow to the westerners helm, and stand back as the knight measured himself on the ground. The call would then go out to pick up yet another heat prostration victim.

The western knights came away with a new appreciation for why the fighters of Meridies and Ansteorra are so lightly armored. The knights did have their day on Wednesday evening. The group Celtic Stone was appearing at an inn a few miles down the road, they had booked there specifically to take advantage of the proximity to TYC. The inn was sort of a two room affair the back was where Celtic Stone was performing and the front was more of a country western bar where the locals hung out.

On Wednesday evening a group of knights decided to attend the concert in the bar in full garb. I am told that as they passed through the front bar one of the knights heard someone say, "faggots" under his breath.

Immediately this person was told, "Shut up! They're faggots with swords."

Wednesday afternoon there was to be a tea for all the visiting queens. The hosts of the event noted that Axemoor had a nice large baronial pavilion in its encampment and asked if they could borrow the use of it for the tea. The barony was, of course, quite pleased that it's pavilion should be used for such an august array of the fairest flowers of the Known World and readily agreed to the loan of the pavilion.

We who were camping with Axemoor were of course curious and watched as the queens of the Known World arrived at the campsite. When the Queen of the West arrived it was obvious that she was late in pregnancy. The wise women of Axemoor noted how she was carrying the child averred that if we had a pressure drop that evening the Chirurgeon would have more than overheated fighters to worry about.

That night we had the heaviest cloudburst of the event. The next day it was announced in court that the Queen of Westrealm had been evacuated to a hospital during the night and had given birth to a healthy baby girl. There was much speculation as to what the newest member of the Society would be named. One wag in our encampment suggested the name Theresa Yolanda Catherine or T.Y.C. for short. I am afraid that I do not recall what the child was actually named.

At grand court Thursday afternoon His Majesty Ansteorra declared that as the daughter of His Majesty Westrealm was a native born Ansteorran, Ansteorra had an interest in seeing her raised properly. He then delivered gifts including a gallon of Bluebell ice-cream to insure that the child would grow up a proper princess of the black star kingdom.

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